The Cru MPD Podcast

Ep. 46: Marriage and MPD with Ally and Chandler Duhaime

• Katie Johnson & Michele Davis

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Raising support as newlyweds...what a way to start a marriage and a ministry! Chandler and Ally Duhaime fill Katie and Michele in on their experiences with this as they prepare for campus ministry in New Hampshire.

Michele Davis:

Welcome to the Cru MPD podcast with Katie Johnson and Michele Davis. We love the Lord commanded. Those who proclaim the gospel should get their webbing by the gospel. We are driven to equip and inspire Christian workers to be Christ centered, fully funded, and financially faithful, so that missionary staff can come alongside all people to know Jesus. This process is more widely known as ministry partner development for MPD for short. We're so excited to be here at the Michindoh Conference Center setting for the Fall refreshed retreat. Katie is emceeing it. How's How you liking that, Katie?

Katie Johnson:

It's so fun. I love doing things. I'm trying to hype people up. She's a good hype girl for sure. Yeah, sometimes.

Michele Davis:

No, you're doing great. You're fine. And then Katie and I had this idea since we were actually both in person at the same conference and not like a million seats away from each other, that we would take this opportunity to capture some stories from some new staff who are here because we all want some firsthand accounts of what it's really like, raising support in 2022 as new missionaries, I want to know about this. Yeah, yeah. And so we're joined today with Ali and Chandler.

Chandler Duhaime:

Hi, guys. It's great to be here.

Michele Davis:

Here here. You guys are so sweet. Okay, so tell us just so we can get introduced you your elevator pitch for your ministry. We just learned about that today. Yeah, remember applying skills?

Chandler Duhaime:

Yeah, so when we were doing the elevator pitch, like five minute pitch, what I wrote down was that I was excited. To get back to UNH and research for Christ helped them grow in their faith and then be sent out to live for Jesus the rest of their lives. And really, one of the visions that's been I've been most excited about is helping Christian students on campus. Learn how to share their faith with their friends and classmates so that 1000s of gospel conversations would be happening at uni. Because University New Hampshire is known as a party school and more secularized and we just want the hope of Jesus to be there.

Ally Duhaime:

I couldn't say it better

Michele Davis:

you were telling me yesterday ally that just the Northeast in general is really unreached and that's part of your vision for your ministry. So tell me more about what it's really like. I have never been to New Hampshire.

Ally Duhaime:

Yeah. I've pretty much only been I mean, I'm sure you travel a bit, but I grew up in New Hampshire. And we both went to school at the University of New Hampshire. I interned there an hour during staff there so yeah. I think hearing about other parts of the country that Christianity is more of a cultural norm in New Hampshire, it's definitely not the case. Like usually, people aren't willing to say I'm you're a Christian if you're not actually a Christian because it's not. Yeah, I guess accepted. That was a way in so yeah. Being on a campus where there's sort of 12,000 students at UNH and most of them don't know No Christ. There's when you see the statistics of what an unreached people group is, I heard the percentages of like but looking at websites, like the data project or something, and it's interesting to see like the percentage of students at UNH, who are Christians versus not and being like, that looks that's an unreached people group. Yeah. So yeah, that's really motivating for us to want to bring the gospel.

Katie Johnson:

So it's interesting that you guys say that you're in a pretty like unreached. Now a lot of Christians in the area, would you guys be willing to share? It doesn't have to be your full stories of faith that come into faith that we got to hear the full stories yesterday and it's pretty amazing. Would you guys be willing to each share just a little snippet of how do you keep the faith in the midst of an atmosphere that seems very unreached and unchurched? Yeah.

Ally Duhaime:

Yeah. I think first before going into that, like, even though New Hampshire is very unusual compared to other parts of the country, like God is totally working in New Hampshire. And there are some really strong Museum, local churches around the university enter some big names with and so we're really thankful for that. But yeah, we both didn't grow up in Christian homes. And I first got invited to church, my family when I was in high school, and heard the gospel there. But it wasn't until I was in college, my sophomore year and studied abroad that God started taking away things in my life and showing me my sin and my need for someone to save me. And so yeah, my mom had had come to faith in between that time and she really encouraged me to go back to church. And so yeah, it wasn't anyone specifically really pointing to and you're sharing the gospel with me, but I think just from hearing, hearing the gospel at church and God really just opened my eyes to go I need for Christ and so I started following Jesus right before my junior year of college and got back to campus and then got involved in Cru which is here about my

Chandler Duhaime:

Yeah. For my story, I didn't grow up in a Christian home as well, and really was trying to find my satisfaction in the things that the world had to offer, and all the way through high school and into college feeling empty, but trying to push it off and just focus on the next thing, so to have to deal with that. And by my sophomore year of college, the middle of my sophomore year of college, I got invited to a crew meeting after one of my classes from a friend of mine and I told them how I wasn't religious and it wasn't mine. My group my thing to do, and then I went home for an extended weekend. And during my time home, I really went through a lot of personal experiences that put me into a lot of anxiety and a difficult mind space. But during that whole time of going through that personal difficulty, the Lord started to put convictions on me about what's going to happen me after I die and feeling guilty of things in my past, and recognizing that the way I thought I met the standard of good and thinking that I was righteous, it really wasn't true. And so I started to want to seek Khan and turn to him. So eventually after recovering from a lot of those mental struggles, I got back to campus and connected with my friend again and then got involved in crew and started getting discipled and there was really people that go to Bible studies and start hearing messages from the weekly meetings helped me get a picture of what Christianity was about. And firstly gave my life to Christ and recognizing that his grace was sufficient for me, and I didn't have to earn my way to heaven thing.

Katie Johnson:

I just love your guys's stories, and it kind of reminds me of just how God is able to reach all people with his gospel and like, in your cases, and yes, your mom like helped her mom. Yeah helped you like understand the gospel. But right like in your case, you really came to Jesus because he met you where you were. And I think that's so cool. And just a really neat story in to see how God is using you guys to share the gospel on campus and around the world. God had a plan for your life. Right and it was way more than you ever thought it would be. And it's probably way different than you ever thought it was gonna be. Just so fun.

Michele Davis:

I just feel like that's really encouraging.

Katie Johnson:

Thank you for sharing.

Michele Davis:

You kind of tell us again the story of how you two together it's in a married couple because that definitely had a hand in that and there's just I just please tell us as storytellers you know the Mr. And Mrs. Story

Chandler Duhaime:

to start both started to start, Ellen. I started getting involved in crew right around the same time as my sophomore year and her junior year. But being going to all the crew events, we really didn't run into each other that much. And we didn't know each other.

Ally Duhaime:

We're definitely in the same place but didn't weren't aware of each other I think I was just like don't meet each other yet. It was like really new Christians. But we both decided to go on a Cru Summer mission to Yellowstone National Park, the summer app the next summer after that and we Yeah, when I first met Chandler we had a dinner with like, the students who are going in the first thing I remember him saying is don't you guys just want to go into the student union building and be like, I love Jesus. And I was like, no I really am not even though we didn't really like have a crush on each other first. I think I really admired the way that he loved Christ and there's some fire for him. And so we Yeah, road tripped out to Yellowstone with some other students. At first I said Taylor could not talk with us because we didn't have room but we didn't get off to the best deck but yeah, being in Yellowstone National Park for 11 weeks, we weren't just have to keep housekeepers there and share the gospel with our coworkers. That was just great to be able to be friends and do ministry together. Which I think is fun nowadays. Jobs with code humans together it's fun to do that summer and yeah, I think we've I think we both started liking each other pretty early on in the summer. I don't have a good time hiding my facial expressions, so Chandler knew pretty quickly, but I didn't really realize that he liked me. He's nice to everyone. It's probably just yeah, um, but yeah, then we as soon as we wrote it back out, like seven minutes into the car, I'd be like so. And so. Yeah, we started dating a few years after that. And we were back at school at the University New Hampshire students. That was my senior year. And so we got to do campus ministry together there. And students and then I interned my first year at Taylor still senior, so it was fun to still be able to get together and then we both intern last year and so yeah, we do an affair for a year and a half and we're engaged for six months and then have been married for a little over a year.

Michele Davis:

So Cute. I love that so much. So you have now been doing MPD since May. So barely just a few months. And you're also you know, you're still figuring out being married and like this whole new season of adult life. And so I'm really excited to dig into that more of you guys and just hear what's happened really what's that like for you? Like how has that been going for you?

Ally Duhaime:

Feel like there's so many different ways we could go that when we are in our session or MPD refresh Retreat Session reflecting on what has been a gift in the season. Like I thought I'm like it's been a really big gift to be able to spend so much time together. During our MPD. We're always I always together

Chandler Duhaime:

tell people, the time that I spent away from Ali's I have if I have to go to the grocery store

Ally Duhaime:

which is fun. So yeah, just realizing like we probably won't have a seat like we don't expect to have another season of life that we'll be together this much like before having we hope to have kids from a and so yeah, just kind of feeling treasure that time. Too has been something we've been thinking about. But yeah, I think John Yeah, I think something that one of the biggest things that I was learning and growing in during our interview together was how to work well together in ministry with me having a year of experience, how to tailor just learning how to let him grow and into his the way God's gifts in him. And yeah, I encourage him and not be critical. And really just like learning how to love each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, which is something that I think has been been hard and been growing a growing experience for us. So MPD has really been an opportunity for us to continue growing in that and I hope that God will use that in as you go into ministry too. And so yeah, I can definitely lean towards wanting to take control, especially in an MPD like he shouldn't wear that text this exact way or say things certain way but um, yeah I think I've been learning to trust God and to trust trust Chandler and yeah, just that my way is not always the best say and that we can support each other do things differently. And yeah, so that's been been something that we've been able to grow and I feel like we I feel like we have been that it's been

Chandler Duhaime:

has been really amazing to be growing in that way. And it's been good to see you. It's been good to see how the Lord has been leading me to grow into the person he wants me to be. And established my passions within ministry for outreach and evangelism and things like that and it's okay to let other people know, our team of ministry carry other roles, like administrative for strategy, and it's really cool to be able to lean on each other.

Ally Duhaime:

Even in things that were not gifted at, like being able to, like for example, like writing thank you cards, like so far, I've written almost all the thank you cards, which is okay, because I like writing thank you cards and I'm faster at it and my handwriting is a little neater than Chandler's. Strike, but then also giving him opportunities to do that as well and like letting go of control.

Katie Johnson:

Can you tell me more about what you love about MPDX? Yes. Yes, how

Chandler Duhaime:

was one of my favorite things on MPDX is the next task button. So whenever you finish a task or you reach out to a partner, then you always click nest next task and you're setting up the next thing you're thinking about doing with that partner, if it's a thank you, or if it's a follow up task and that way, even though you have your tasks completed, you'll always have something to remind you what's the next thing to do with them.

Katie Johnson:

I love that feature. And it actually will automatically do like you say follow up and automatically set it to like two days later. Change that date. Yeah. But it kind of like knows like

Michele Davis:

almost like it was designed by Cru staff. What we do

Katie Johnson:

not even have to think about the date it like you asked like it'll, what's next in the next couple of days and that's great. Love we

Michele Davis:

I'm curious what, if anything has surprised you, as you have now been doing MPD together as you've joined staff? Because I'm saying that knowing that you both were interns you had intern. You've it's not like you came into MPD and it was all fresh. So has it all just felt known and what you expected or has anything surprised you about this season?

Ally Duhaime:

Yeah, I think having the experience of interning and doing MPD as an intern and then moving into DMP is training full time staff is a different experience for sure. In a lot of different ways. Just in the time commitment, like having just be a longer term experience. Yeah, a lot of other ways that I think we've been able to really learn from people on our team or just like other staff hearing their stories and experience. Yeah, I feel like we didn't come in totally blind to what it could be like. But yeah, I think similar to like, just like basic, like gospel truths where you like very simple and you know them but you always go deeper in them. Yeah, I feel like that's kind of similar than MPD. But I think yeah, not that I was unexpected, but I think just Yeah, surprise that how much God has really been guiding us and sanctifying us through this process and teaching us about himself. And I feel like even in the last few weeks, and even reflecting during this retreat, about just having a shift in mindset of wanting to get through the season versus being really thankful for that God has given us this season and cares about our growth and what he wants to do. And so not just using us administering and what we can do for him but really growing us like personally and together and so I think yeah, just like housing demand has been has been expected but I think just like actually experiencing it as a practice.

Chandler Duhaime:

I do think that it has been really similar from trying to do a video on myself versus with Ali. And I see that and there's a lot of highs and lows throughout the MPD season that I went through. When I was doing it myself. And Laura was really working on me and trying to show me I needed to depend on him. And then once I was starting to MPD with Ali for some reason I had the mindset that is gonna be a really easy it's only going to be hard because I have this other person with me but the Lord was kind to me and shine. Now we're gonna go through some difficult things so you can grow in your character. And so, yeah, it was really similar and a lot of ways and thankful for the way that the Lord has been sharpening us and preparing us for ministry.

Michele Davis:

That was my experience to my husband, I went to new staff orientation for him to join staff a month after he got married to just that first year of marriage. I'm like really resonating with so much of what you are saying. I'm curious to hear about if you've discovered anything that's really practical that helps you guys maintain perspective and persevere. As you know you guys have alluded to, it's not all like rom com and breakfast. Lovely times you know, it's like you're working together and you're humans and so that brings challenges. What practical things have really helped you to stay the course and persevere through this.

Ally Duhaime:

Yeah, that's really good. Practical Yeah, I was just thinking that similar to other parts of life, that community so frightened and being able, I mean, a big blessing MP has been able to just invest more in relationships in our church and friendships. And so yeah, I think just been allowing people to enter the hardest parts of your life in hard parts of MPD and asking for prayer and yeah, not doing it alone. Also, just being able to have an MPD coach is awesome and so yeah, I feel like when we get off a call or a call with our MPD coach, we're like, okay, we feel encouraged and feel back on track. And even though like there's two of us, I think we can get stuck in a bubble of whatever. Yeah, I think practically having other people involved in your life in our lives ha been helpful. Yeah.

Chandler Duhaime:

I definitely agree that one of the practical things that's been helpful is meeting with MPD coach, because up until that call, my mindset would be I don't know what to do in this MPD season. I feel like I don't know what tasks to do. And then we talk with our coach and she says, just go through your MPDX contact list and see what you want to do with each person. And this is the steps you're going to do. Okay, and now it is awesome. And again, get to depend on Lord in those things. Yeah, I agree with what Ali was saying a lot. One of the best practical steps is reaching out to other people and getting encouragement from other people in MPD season. So Ali, and I are joining us full time staff, but I had I was friends with crew intern, and I asked if we could call every other week to pray together and just talk about MPD. He finished up his MPD this past August, and I'm still in the MPD season but we still call and I get to pray for him for his ministry that he's in grace for me. That's always a nice anchor thing to do.

Michele Davis:

Awesome. Is he back at UNH to or at a different campus?

Chandler Duhaime:

He's at a different campus. He's he's at a different campus.

Michele Davis:

Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, it's just really cool. We should probably all have a buddy that we call everyone smile from another campus. Encourage any buddies MPD buddies. We've talked

Katie Johnson:

about things like this.

Michele Davis:

Katie, we talked about so many things. MPD buddies,

Katie Johnson:

I mean, it happening organically. Like that is the best way for it to happen. So if you have friends and you stop when you meet people at retreats like this, you really connect with them. Yeah, stay in touch can I have a week or once every other week and pray together? Because it is really encouraging.

Michele Davis:

So actually, wildcard your thigh throw this out to you like what Ali would you say is like Chandler's MPD strength and channeling what would you say is Ali's MPD strength and just like, let's have a little encouragement moment.

Chandler Duhaime:

Yeah. I'll go first that does have a lot of MPD strengths, I think she's really good at administrative things and that's kind of the MPD never gets old. So she she does really good job communicating with people over texts, emails. Just to think about all the different details that we should consider when connecting with the church or with partners and really gets into the fine things which is really good. I also really appreciate her passion for prayer. She's always saying let's pray before our MPD meeting. Let's pray before MPD meaning and that's like her trumpet that she just goes for and it's definitely a strong strength. And I appreciate it a lot.

Ally Duhaime:

Yeah, I think yeah, I really admire just channeling his heart like I think since I first met him and my challenge heart for the Lord and passion about things of God and so yeah, I love being able to hear him share about the ministry and about his story during our MPD appointments. And I think that really encourages me, just to hear, gosh, like, this is why we're doing this and also, yeah, I was an art major in college. I love creative things, but Taylor's a really creative person to then just Yeah, I feel like he loves just like thinking of new ideas or yeah, just keeps it fun. So yeah, I think a strength I've seen in that is yeah, this is keeping MPD fractured. I feel like every like month or even every two weeks just feels different. And being able to communicate and brainstorm ways of doing things or be open to try new things. Just really

Michele Davis:

watching cultivate your thankfulness for each other. Okay, my last question for you guys is knowing what you know now. What advice would you give to ally and Chandler pre joining staff like or maybe even take a step back because you were interned together? And resupport together, you know, like, before you entered into this whole we do ministry together and we do it together. What advice would you give to past Ally and Chandler

Ally Duhaime:

Yeah, I think on the heels of thankfulness. Not that we haven't done this. But I think just like even more pressing into this, like just really making sure your partners know how thankful you are for them. And just going like above and beyond and doing that. And I think just like practicing thankfulness to just yeah, it's been fun this weekend to reflect on Philippians and just hear the way that Paul talks about the church and the people there and just that the way he pays for them and that way that he thinks of them. Yeah, so I think it can be tempting for me to be focused on number goal and focus on finishing up and loving people. And so I think that's myself. Having a similar similar vein is just kind of like domestic I've seen in the season and finished in a way. Yeah. Best practices of Southwest PD is so bright, my first engineer really required to to get started and so hardly to stopping. Testing people like stuff up and really trusting God with that he's the one thing and we got really important to just remember those guys, and he's good and he has a purpose and plan for this season and

Chandler Duhaime:

I would have told myself to remember that God has a special work in you into the season of MPD prepare you for ministry. And have that mindset and to know that if God wanted us to get fully funded within a month, he could have made it happen if he really wanted to, but he bringing us through the season is a way of using MPD sharp and I said prepare us the other thing that I would have told my futures self, our past self thing I would have told my past self is encouraged. I want to I would want to encourage you to depend on the Lord through this season, and depend on his strength to do the work he has for you. And to also say, I know there's going to be moments in the season when you're not going to do that. And you're going to try and do on your own strength, and it's gonna be difficult and it's gonna make you tired and you're really sad. But turn back to the Lord. He's gonna be gracious to you and he's always forgiving to you and depend on him again. And that's those moments when I am depending on the Lord and doing what he has for me to do is always fulfilling and great inside of me pasture.

Michele Davis:

That's perfect. You guys. Thanks so much for joining us today. I am so encouraged by your stories until encouraged and excited for you guys to do ministry together and I'm just thankful that thankful for what the worst thing in your life and how he's bragging here. Thank you so much.

Chandler Duhaime:

Thank you so much.

Michele Davis:

Thanks for listening to the Cru MPD podcast. Please help others find our show by liking, sharing and rating us on Apple iTunes, and wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find us on social media by searching for the Cru MPD podcast. Check out the show notes for more information including the various resources we mentioned in this episode. Till next time, we encourage you to be faithful and full of faith in all things, especially in MPD.